Right Name, Wrong State

Was puzzled for a few days — got a few emails and Facebook messages over at KRTV wondering if it was true that the fireworks show for Great Falls had been canceled.

Didn’t know how the rumor got started, but finally figured it out tonight after someone messaged me:


Wha…? CelebrateGreatFalls.org? I thought I was familiar with pretty much all of the Great Falls-based “community” sites, so I checked it out, and lo and behold: it’s Great Falls, all right — VIRGINIA!


Great Falls: An Isolated Metropolis?

Heh…just stumbled across this question on Yahoo! Answers: “Is Great Falls, Montana the most isolated metropolitan area in America outside Alaska and Hawaii?”

Well…guess it depends on how you define “isolated” and “metropolitan.” I don’t think anyone here in Great Falls would consider our community a “metropolis” in any sense of the word, except when compared to, say, Geraldine or Cascade. But in terms of being a large community with all/most of the amenities associated with city living, OK, maybe we are a metropolis in some sense.

And “isolated” – well, isolated from what, exactly?

Here’s a the screenshot, along with a somewhat humorous reply marked as “best answer.”

Montana Haircuts

Alex did a story yesterday about the new “Man Cave” that recently opened in Great Falls, offering spa services for men…and it reminded me of something that Nate of Missoula posted recently at New Heathens about a “barbershop” in Stamford, Connecticut:

Upon arriving in Connecticut in November, my buddy needed a haircut and was overjoyed when he found a barbershop in downtown Stamford called “Montana.”

“I thought, ‘Yes! A real Montana barber shop,'” my friend said. “The kind where there’s great conversation and a guy gives you a good, reasonably-priced haircut.” The kind of place our dads used to take us to back when, you know, I was getting haircuts.

Then my friend looked at the “menu” for this barbershop.

At Montana for Metrosexuals you can buy “packages” named after three Montana towns and one dogsled race. The “master barber” will give you “The Billings” (Haircut, Sports Manicure, Spa Pedicure) for $118. He’ll give you “The Butte” (Haircut, Sports Manicure, Royal Shave) for $128. He’ll give you “The Great Falls” (Haircut, Sports Manicure, Spa Pedicure, Royal Shave and a massage) for $195. And he’ll give you “The Race To The Sky,” (all of the above with a longer massage) for a whopping $215.

Two hundred and fifteen dollars for a dude to give you a massage in Stamford, CT named after a fucking dogsled race! For real? You can pay a month’s fucking rent in Great Falls, MT for the same price as “The Great Falls” Royal Shave in Stamford!

Nate then goes on to list many, many “Montana-ized” versions of haircuts, which are pretty darn hilarious. Some of my favorites:

The Big Sandy = A flattop.
The Missoula = Your hair is knotted into dreadlocks and softened with patchouli oil.
The Bozeman = Brad Pitt’s haircut? Yours.
The Whitefish = Ooh, look at that mountain. Your haircut will be a million dollars, please
The Paws Up = Haircuts (TM)

Really, you should go read ’em all.

Genuine Falls

Claire has an excellent post about Great Falls – and about Bigfork. I recall Greg expressed similar sentiments about the Flathead area a while back. I have only visited Bigfork once, three years ago, and I absolutely loved it…but as noted in Claire’s comments, I don’t have warm, fuzzy memories of Bigfork Past to compare them too. But back to Claire’s topic of Great Falls – I like this:

Bless Paris Gibson for laying out greater Great Falls: if you can find Central Avenue and you can count to fifty, it’s pretty hard to get lost. What our street names lack in character, they make up for in sanity. It’s the outskirts that are a little tricky.

Bonus: Claire makes reference to the Valley Girls (has it really been more than five years since she first wrote that?). I love her characterization of the large Montana towns.

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