Before I get to the review of last night’s restaurant (the new Prospector), a note about me & cheeseburgers: the cheeseburger is the most wondrous of all foodstuffs. Available just about anywhere, no matter the venue or type of cuisine. When in doubt, I usually order a cheeseburger. And when trying out a new (or new to me) restaurant, I’m likely to try a cheeseburger first – if they can’t do a decent burger, well…it doesn’t bode well.
But here’s my quirk: I like my burgers PLAIN. Meat + cheese on a bun. No lettuce. No tomato. No pickle. No onion. No mustard. No mayo. Just P-L-A-I-N. Sounds pretty simple, right? But over the years, I’ve learned that I can’t just simply tell the server “Plain cheeseburger,” because 9 times out of 10, it will be served up with other stuff on it.
So I always make sure to tell the server that I want my cheeseburger PLAIN, and then practically spell it out: “I’d like a cheeseburger — plain. Just meat and cheese on a bun.” Once in a while, I’ll add the word “bacon” to the order, too. As I did last night.
My exact words to the server were: “Yeah, I’ll take a bacon cheeseburger – plain. Just meat, cheese, and bacon on a bun. No lettuce, no tomato, no onion, nothing else.”
Her reply: “So…you don’t want mayonnaise?”
Sigh. “No, no mayo. And no mustard. Nothing. Just meat, cheese, and bacon on a bun.”