We Make Contact: The Bovine Theory

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Like most of you, I rarely frequent the Tribune online Forums. The signal-to-noise ratio is just horrible. But, much like some people have a weakness for tabloid trash or reality TV, I occasionally go looking around in the Forums to see if there is anything interesting, and yesterday I stumbled across a really weird thread that was started by “oscar the grouch.” Here’s part of it:

The prophecy has predicted that the year of 2008 is going to be the worst year mankind has seen with the horrible situation known as Cattle Mutilations.

Cattle Mutilation Signs are as follows :
The removal of eyes, udders and sexual organs
The removal of the tongue and/or lips
The presence of incisions and cuts across the body that appear to have been made by a surgical instrument
A lack of predation signs (including teethmarks, tearing of the skin or flesh, or animal footprints) on or around the carcass.

Ranchers, you must start acting now in order to prevent this from happening! There is absolutly no time to waste.

We have no time to point fingers. The year has begun, and if the prophecy get’s fullfilled, it will mean the end of mankind as we know it.

Wait a minute…cattle mutilations are a sure sign of alien activity, right? And we all know that the “invasion” will begin on January 15, when “We Make Contact,” right?

It all makes sense now – the aliens are going to launch a full-on assault of Montana’s cows on January 15, and “oscar the grouch” is trying to warn us via the We Make Contact campaign to protect our cattle!

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1 Comment

  1. Back in the ’70s there was a book written, its out of print now, called “Mystery Stalks the Prairie”, that showcased the cattle mutilation phenomenom.

    For anyone out there that is a subscriber to the Linda Moulton Howe website “Earthfiles.Com”, she has reprinted the book in its entirety on her site. She is/was also an activist in getting the whole Cattle Mutilation thing in the press. I seriously doubt the current billboard campaign is addressing this, however.

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